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Back to face The Beast

Well, hello there... I have long declared myself ‘missing in action’. Life has been hurtling by at tremendous speed and I’ve found myself spread thin, wondering what deal I could possibly do to gain more hours in the day. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to recall the password to log back into my blog page. If you’re reading this, then ‘go me!’ I’ve succeeded in getting in!

So, why pick this up now? 
I’m still running but my running has been sporadic at best. Since the hell that was Brighton (sorry Brighton, it’s not you, it’s me...) I’ve seen my joy for running coming and going in waves. Bursts of it being the brilliant, empowering tool that has brought me to new PB’s and then lulls whilst being relegated to the injury bench... I’m currently recovering from one stubborn shin injury just as others are nearing the end of successful marathon training cycles, churning out jubilant, and well-deserved, medal bling pics. Yes, the green-eyed monster is currently thrashing out this rambling post.

But despite the inconsistencies, I do love it. I do. And I’m so desperate to get back to the consistent running and feeling like... well, a runner!

I’ve been hesitant to sign up for races this year. I’ve spent most of it so far injured and it seems fruitless to sign up for events that I may have to withdraw from... Marathons have been off the agenda since the puke filled-fest that was Brighton. But then the marathon is a strange beast. You truly experience every high and low doing one, I’ve had more than my fair share of lows. It’s a mental battle that I’ve not yet conquered and I don’t like not being able to conquer my battles. 


It is also fast approaching Taylin’s next cancer check up. And this should be her last as a ‘cancer patient’ before being moved to after-care for her remaining kidney. Five glorious cancer-free years. Life can be incredibly shite at times and it’s sometimes too easy to forget how incredibly lucky we are to be in the position we are in. We still struggle financially; the road since Taylin’s cancer journey has felt like one knock after another. And yet, that statement- five glorious cancer-free years... None of the ‘bad’ stuff matters. It really doesn’t. We have our health, and with that we have so many wonderful opportunities and possibilities at our feet. The world can be our oyster if we have the bravery to take it on. Not all families are so lucky. I can run, I can run care-free into the sunset knowing I’ll be coming home to my beautiful family. So I’m choosing to run hard, to take on that ultimate challenge again, because I can. Because I am one of the lucky ones in life. Because life is for living and dreams are there to be chased, obstacles to be smashed or turned into opportunities. And everyday that I wake and am still the lucky Mother that I am, I owe a debt to the pioneers of medicine, to the NHS, to the charities that fight endlessly to make things better, fairer. So, there’s the why. The why, after promising never again, I have signed up for another marathon. Bring on the beast!

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